by Tim Brunson, PhD
Change is natural. It naturally occurs all around us. Gas prices go up. We weather the mortgage and housing crises. And, violent crimes are increasing in most major cities. Regardless whether of the political party changes, there will have a different president in the White House a minimum of every eight years. Change is not a campaign slogan, it is part of life. It seems nothing in life is permanent other than change.
I vividly remember watching the last Olympics. There were young men and women from around the globe. These were people, like Michael Phelps, who dared to dream and commit to winning multiple gold medals. These are people who have changed themselves and motivated millions. Many are heroes to their countrymen, their families and even to themselves. They've mastered change.
Yet, most of us spend our lives adapting to change. Adapting to change that seems to be out of our control. In fact, as a race we humans pride ourselves on our ability to adapt. We adapt to new environments, to depressions, to recessions, to marriages, to divorce, to business successes, to businesses failures, to life, and to death.
Is change our master? The French philosopher John Jacques Rousseau once said, "Man is born free, but everywhere in chains." Take a moment to look around you. How far can you see? The walls, ceiling and floor block your view. Even you look out of the window, how far can you see? Once I worked in a high-rise hotel. I remember Ben in maintenance. He fixed toilets for a living. His office was in the basement. He couldn't see very far. I loved going up to the 10th floor restaurant balcony where you could see over the nearby rooftops. But, then when I went up to the penthouse, it seemed that you could see forever.
I had a friend who loved photography. I always wanted to ask him whether you needed a special lens to take a close-up of the horizon. Of course, I this is a joke. You see, horizons are our perceptions of limitations. The closer you look at them, the quicker you realize that they are illusions.
So, what does happen when you reach your horizon – your limits? Are they real? Or, are they merely an illusion conveniently placed so we can keep our sanity? The theoretical physicists don't think so. They think that your horizon is actually what they call an event horizon. And, just what is an event horizon. To a scientist it is the doorway to a parallel universe -- a parallel universe of possibilities.
To a quantum physicist there are endless possibilities beyond our horizons. Just think about this for a moment. Bring to mind the best thing about your life at this moment, and place it at the top of a circle. Then, place the opposite condition at the bottom. In between there are an unlimited number of points. You can imagine all the variations. Now let's do just the opposite. Place the worst thing about your personal or business life at the top and the opposite at the bottom. Consider this circle a dial and every one of the points merely a choice waiting to be chosen. Your horizon appears to be limiting your options. But, this is only an illusion. So, why do we feel boxed in inside our illusion of limitations?
Yes, you may say, I know that all possibilities are, by definition, possible--try to say this another way. Anything is possible even though it may seem to be improbable at the moment. For instance, da Vinci was told that man could never fly. Orville and Wilber Wright did not agree. Two young Hewlett-Packard engineers were told by their bosses than no one would ever buy a desktop computer. Steven Wozniak and Steven Jobs knew that one day desktop computers would be as common as the apple. A young Hollywood artist was once told in a job appraisal that he lacked imagination. Well, young Walt Disney did not agree. And finally, the head of the US patent office said in the 1890's that everything that is going to be invented had already been invented. I could go on. It may not be probable that we can walk through walls or travel through time, but it is not impossible. Neither is improving the relationships in your life, increasing sales, and whatever else your imagination can dream up.
What holds us back? You may find the answer in the animal side of us. As a human animal our prime directive is only to survive. Dr. Bruce Lipton in his groundbreaking book, the Biology of Belief, says that each one of our 55 trillion cells has one primary instinct, and that is to survive. And, we also seek stability and conformity.
In 1996, Dr. Giocommo Rizzolatti, an Italian scientist, came upon an astounding discovery. His team was studying the effect of hand movements on the brain during eating. They placed sensor wires deep into the brains of several monkeys. During a break he walked through the research room eating an ice cream cone. Suddenly, he noticed that the monkeys' brains reacted the same way when they observed someone eating as when they ate. Looking at this further, he noticed that they reacted not when they observed someone merely picking up food, but only when it was picked up with the intention of eating. Subsequent research confirmed what therapists have always known. Human beings have the uncanny ability to sense the minds of others.
Think about this for a moment. People all over the world report that they would rather experience an amputation than do public speaking. Even today as an experienced speaker I feel that sense of anticipation and anxiety before giving a speech, which I quickly translate into excitement and energy. However, I can't help but think, did I comb my hair, do I have something on my chin, will they like me, and will I say something useful? You see, I'm picking up every anxiety and curiosity in the room, whether it is real or imagined. As social animals we are concerned about what others think. And, we conform. Most of us drive at an average speed (whether it is legal or not). We're concerned about what we wear to church. Will we fit in?
Unfortunately, this conformity also means that as social animals we are designed to be mediocre. For instance, when you mistakenly do something outstanding, how do you react? A lot be people would say "Aw, it was nothing" or they insist on taking the attention away from themselves by saying, "I couldn't have done it without so and so." Just look at the most profound non-fiction book. The acknowledgements list a battalion of people that the author feels indebted to. It almost makes you think that she did not have anything to do with writing it. But look at Michael Phelps and his eight gold medals, or little Shawn Johnson who finally got a gold medal in women's gymnastics. Sure, there are always others to thank. On the other hand, champions know that without their heroic attitude their feat would have never been accomplished. So, can we appreciate the contribution of others? I know that just about every endeavor in life is a team sport. This still leaves a very important question. Can we function normally in society and still make our mark? I think we can because, if we can't, and our animal nature is the only thing that defines us, then we are not truly human. If our animal nature was everything, we would not need art, there would be no Super Bowl, no Olympics, no Einstein, and no Mother Theresa. There would be no need for civic clubs, clinicians, business executives, and first responders.
As animals' only instinct appears to be the drives to adapt and survive, there must be something additional, something special about being human. You can find this in our desire to create. And to create, we have to see other possibilities. We have to be willing to at least temporarily step outside of being normal. We have to create our future out of the endless arrays of possibilities.
As humans we are blessed with the developed frontal lobe, which makes up 40% of our brain volume as opposed to 12% for dogs and 6% for cats. This evolutionary miracle gives us the uncanny ability to imagine. We dream of sky scrapers, of new businesses, of a positive future for your business or practice, of ideal relationships with our family, and of travel and of adventure. I want to point out that not only does this part of the brain inhibit our baser instincts, it allows us to transcend our animal nature and truly – as a child made in the image of God – to be a creator. To create the imaginary future of our dreams and, rather than entraining to the average mediocrity of mankind, to be different, to go for the gold, to morph to average, but to transcend to brilliance. How is this done?
First, you must realize that the limitations of your horizon are merely an illusion. They are learned and programmed limitations created by a society that sees being average as a requirement for survival.
Second, you must realize that all possibilities are options. They are a choice waiting to be made. If they seem improbable, look at them as merely challenges to be mastered. When I see world records constantly broken at the Olympics, I see the power of dedication, hard work, and belief.
Third, create a vision, an imaginary world that vividly portrays your desired future. Whether it is improving your relationship with a spouse, doubling your annual sales, undertaking an adventure, or anywhere else you passion takes you, find your parallel universe. Rather than entraining to mediocrity, entrain to brilliance. Michael Phelps did. Just make sure that you are following your dream and not someone else's.
Fourth, take action. Start today or tomorrow by doing one thing different. Break patterns of behavior. Then set a deadline or a series of deadlines. Take massive action and get massive results.
In many ways we are doomed to live the life that others expect. We are doomed to be who and what others expect. How many of you identify yourselves by what you can fit on a small business card? That is NOT your universe. That is not you. No matter who or what you think you are, you are more than that.
Thanks to the media, most people think that what hypnotists do is to put people to sleep. That's wrong, because the one thing that I know is that each and every one of you is in some level of trance, a trance of limitations and illusion. But, what would happen if sometime today you counted from one to three and at the count of three you were finally awake for the first time in your life. Wouldn't it be great?
Because of my profession, I study both mind and body. The frontal lobe gives us our consciousness. It gives us the ability to imagine. It gives us the ability to create. If we are to transcend our animal nature, that of being merely an adaptive creature, then we must learn to use our will and our imagination. We must realize that every possibility imaginable is possible. That's why they call it a possibility.
People can't fly. Tell that to the Wright brothers. The world is flat. Tell that to Columbus. Your relationships will never get better. Your company's sales will never improve. Your goals will never be achieved. If that is what you are telling yourself, then that is what will come true. Don't tell Michael Phelps that he'll never see eight gold medals. No one told Senator Barack Obama that he will never have a chance becoming the President of the United States of America. Don't tell that to the inventors, the real estate developers, the artists, the musicians.
Members of my profession have seen miraculous events happen when you suspend your critical judgment – that is, when you get out of your own way. It as that point we start selectively thinking. Terminally ill patients go into remission, skyscrapers get built, our nations energy challenges get solved, relationships improve, and sales go up.
Our choice is whether to be like animals and merely adapt, or to use our God-given talents to create our future, to aggressively seek out new possibilities, and to go through our event horizons and enter parallel universes in which we create a future that we choose rather than one which we are given.
To be a creator it takes guts. By deciding to be different, to stand out in a crowd, and to get noticed you experience the discomfort of not being average and mediocre. But you can and will become overcome this once you firmly and with conviction look beyond the illusion of your limitations and decide who are.
Yes, as a city, as a state, as a nation, as coaches, as medical or mental health clinicians, as educators and trainers, and as friends, family, and individuals, we face challenges. Our instinct, our animal nature, gives us the drive to adapt and the drive to survive. And yet there is something about being human that allows us to create – to decide our own future.
The International Hypnosis Research Institute is a member supported project involving integrative health care specialists from around the world. We provide information and educational resources to clinicians. Dr. Brunson is the author of over 150 self-help and clinical CD's and MP3's.
Posted: 01/15/2010
